Heart of Gold - Neil Young


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Heart of Gold - Neil Young
How will you respond?
01.31.07 (7:52 am)   [edit]

When your heart is hurt, it is always ego. You and your feelings were not considered important enough to be considered -- or pleased or taken into account at all. How fragile is your heart when you depend upon others for your worth. People do not always consider themselves worthy. Why would you think they would esteem you?

Let go of your ideas of how others should treat you. Let go. Let go of hurt and anguish. Bless others, and bless yourself.

Let others make their mistakes. Goodness knows, you make enough mistakes of your own. But do not make too much of mistakes, yours or others.

You know right now that it is a mistake for you to feel affronted by others’ thoughtlessness. Their thoughtlessness did not cut your heart in two. You cut your heart in two.  To think that someone’s lack of consideration has say over how you feel. This is not a happy place for you to be in, to think that your well-being depends upon what others say and do, no matter how thoughtless, even heartless they may be. Your well-being is not dependent upon outer circumstances. Outer circumstances are just that. They are like bystanders, and really don’t have much to do with you. Bystanders are not the making nor unmaking of you. You, on the other hand, have a lot to do with you. You do not have to let others rule your heart. Your heart is yours, and your heart is Mine.

When you feel hurt or enraged, you have discounted yourself. That is the crux of it. You have bought hook, line, and sinker what you take as others’ regard for you. You don’t do this because you think well of yourself. You do this because you do not think well enough of yourself. Otherwise, you would not denigrate yourself with hurt feelings. It can only be ego that says: “They shouldn’t do this to me. They have no right.”

They are doing nothing to you. You just happen to be there. It is like you are in a crowd, and someone jostles you and doesn’t say excuse me. It is no more than that. Go on your way, and don’t look back. Don’t keep thinking about it.

The world is not out to get you. It will, however, point out your weak spots to you. It will point out where you think you are weak. That is your true weakness.

This is not the first time your heart has been hurt. But it can be the last, for you are the one who hurts your heart. Your mind says that something has to be otherwise when it doesn’t have to be anything at all. You don’t have to take life so hard. You don’t have to make so much of it.

If you feel disgraced, that is something you assigned to yourself. No one else did. When you feel graced, that is a generous moment you gave yourself. Grace and disgrace are two sides of a coin that you toss. And then there is the Grace of God, and I give it to you now. Surmount your hurt feelings. Let them go. They are no use to you. They are no use to anyone. Hurt feelings muddy up the waters.

If you are fishing by the banks of a river, and where you sit is rocky and uncomfortable, you do not feel mistreated. You do not feel you are less because of the discomfort. You do not take it personally. You are not dismayed. You take it in your stride, or you sit somewhere else.

Life presents you with the same options.  It is your choice as to how you will respond.

 
01.30.07 (6:35 am)   [edit]
  "The only thing that stands between a person and what they want from life is often the will to try it and the faith to believe it's possible." --Rich Devos

welp, we are making plans to meet the author/stroke survivor/motivational speaker tonite.  april and hubby called me...they would like to go!  i emailed the lady and the other woman, my friend and mentor who holds the "guided meditation" class, to be sure "valerie" was still planning on being there.  i got an email back from "valerie" stating she would absolutely be there and that she would "talk with april" after the class!  April's older sister is also going.  i hope that my family has their hearts and minds open to the spiritual side of this and won't be put off because there is talk of angels and such. 

i just hope that the connection between april and the woman who has so successfully come through the same sort of trauma is worth them coming out to meet her. 

i know i am so excited for "diane", the woman who "guides" us during meditation will finally get to meet my girl!  diane has been an undying sense of strength for me and she is one (of many) to whom i have turned to for prayer and strength when this all started, and she continues to lift me up when i ask her for guidance.  like you all, i often find myself alone in the dark, literally, in the middle of the night, so when i write her, she always responds.

i find myself  writing and sending out my cares to the universe and the next thing i know, there are dozens of "responses", like little lighted candles, from you all, and i can "see" again to find my own way.  i think of you guys, and some friends that i have here, as some of my very own, personal angels.  that makes my heart smile.

xoxoxox

 
Sometimes I wonder
01.27.07 (10:22 am)   [edit]
Sometimes I do wonder what is the reason for the world.  Why am I here when other, smarter, more productive, more intelligent, more "you name it" people could benefit from my space....sometimes I wonder why life has to be so painful, so upsetting that it can throw me into the dark and makes not just my heart but my entire being hurt.  But then, I go inside, deep down to where the innocent child of me lives and hold her and hug her and realize that there is a place in this world for all of us.  So, the answer to the riddle is "that there's a reason for the world" and it is "you and I".  Who else can love us but one another.  And without love, there is nothing.
 
April With ATTITUDE!
01.25.07 (9:01 pm)   [edit]

Tonite I went to April & Dave's to make them dinner.  They weren't home when I got there, so I threw together a cake before she could tell me no.  I love having something in the oven that smells so good for when they walk in! 

When they got home, Dave tells April, "ya know, your mom doesn't get a chance to see what you do at therapy, so show her what you learned".  She looks at him and he says, "you know, ATTITUDE"!  So, she grins, she crosses her arms across her tummy and says "ATTITUDE" and then begins walking across the kitchen with "normal" steps...hiding her limp and her arm looks "normal" crossed as it was.  I broke into tears!  It was an amazing and wonderful improvement to how she has been walking.  She beamed! 

She has been going to "aquatic" physical therapy.  I see a marked improvement.  She seems to enjoy it more than the other PT.  The water offers up much more "resistance" which is building her strength faster.

A friend of mine brought April a book from our "meditation" class...a woman was there, the author, who is a ten year stroke survivor...she was only 31 when she had a stroke...now she is an author and a motivational speaker...I asked if Dave and April would join me to meet this woman next week...she will be there again...at first, April said a definitive NO, but after dinner, she asked me to read some of the book to her and then we answered some questions, and now, I think she is thinking about it...I hope she will.  I told her I was going even if she didn't just so I could thank her for the book, but I thought it would be something so beneficial to April...to meet someone who has gotten through exactly what she is going through now...the thoughts and feelings that can't yet be expressed!  the fears and the determination, etc. 

So, prayers for April and prayers for Andrea, for I fear that Andrea will have much the same path to travel, and prayers for you and you and you and you and oh, yeah, a prayer or two for me, too : )  I love you all.

mimi

 

 
andrea, dear andrea
01.22.07 (7:01 pm)   [edit]

All I can think about since reading her husband's post is Andrea!  My dear friend, Andrea.  I do hope and pray for her healing and recovery from this tragic event!  Andrea had a brain hemmorage on 1/11/07.  It was a year ago, 1/13/06 that my darling daughter had her massive stroke.  Why, Oh, Why do these things happen to those that don't seem like they deserve these trials in their lives and yet, there are those out in the world that laugh at brutality they inflict on innocent others...those that would seem to deserve to  have bad things happen?  I guess that is what "faith" is supposed to get us through...but it sure doesn't seem fair to me! 

So, Andrea, dear Andrea, know that you are being thought about and prayed for and good vibrations are coming at you from every direction in the universe.  I have asked my personal Angels to go to you and watch over you and help you and guide you.  Know that you are loved, you dear, intelligent, kind and caring woman, and I just cannot wait to get good news from your beloved "John" and then, the day that I hear from you, again, I will dance in the streets of Central Florida!

xoxoxo

 
the concert
01.17.07 (10:16 pm)   [edit]

Well, the day came and went!  I met my oldest son after work for a lovely meal and then he drove us to the auditorium.  The show began late but it was expected.  Our seats were fabulous.  A big surprise, I met, sitting right in front of me, the morning DJ from the radio station from whom I won the tickets.  I had met him before...what a cute guy and so sweet.  Got a big hello and a hug. 

I must admit that I didn't know many "facts" about mr. stewart before seeing him in concert.  the show was good.  we could see everything.  but what i came away with surprises me...apparently mr. stewart turned 62 years old on January 10th of this year!  It made me feel very sad and very old!  he put on a wonderful show...well into 3 hours with only a 20 minute break....the videos that accompanied his music were excellent and thoughtfully done!  one featuring his dad while he sang a cat steven's song brought me to tears...extremely touching and beautiful. (i always have loved cat steven's songs, anyway)  he sang many of his greatest hits and the crowd roared...the curtain finally came down...and then back up for his "maggie may" as he stood there grinning because he wasn't singing a note...we were all singing it to him!  wouldn't have been rod stewart without that, now would it! 

what i didn't like was that the sound in the venue "sucked out loud"!  mr. stewart, known for his gravelly, soft voice, was at times, difficult, at best to hear, especially on the "softer" songs.  if i had "paid" for my tickets, i might have really been disappointed.

what else surprises me, although i don't know why, is how selfish and rude people can be.  before, during and after the show, they proved themselves over and over again...traffic, parking, talking while mr. stewart was singing a ballad that was not one of the top 10, pop hits....the curtain went down with almost a bang even before the song was over...i think that the people not listening hurt his feelings! 

maybe i am just getting old and crotchety, but i just don't enjoy crowds anymore, not that i really did, ever before.  and i don't mean to be "negative" about any of it...this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me...i appreciate that...but when the "wonderful" is sandwiched in between so much "disappointment" ;, it's hard for me to come away all bubbles and light...

 
a quote : )
01.17.07 (9:59 pm)   [edit]
** Inspiration from the Heart **
"Love doesn't make the world go round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
Franklin P. Jones
 
just wondering???
01.14.07 (12:01 pm)   [edit]

just wondering...out there in t-blog land are many...different and yet, somehow connected.  different lands, different cultures, nationalities, different races. 

so, my question is, if you were to meet someone that you found yourself attracted to and that person was also attracted to you...if that person had many of the qualities that you admire and/or require for a partner and yet, they were "different" than you, would you pursue the relationship or never let it start?

 

 

 

 
by the way!
01.14.07 (10:24 am)   [edit]

By the way, my oldest son has agreed to go with me to see Rod Stewart!  Now I can feel happy about winning the tickets again!  Yeah!

xoxox

 
April's Anniversary
01.14.07 (10:23 am)   [edit]

Well, it came and it went, as with many other occasions.  April, overall, seems healthy and happy.  She has begun a new type of physical therapy in which they use water.  She actually uses a treadmill in water! 

I was over-ruled in the fact that the rest of the family decided that we were not going to be "sentimental" and since April seems to be unaware of the date, it was not to be mentioned.  I had sent her an e-mail that apparently was "edited" for her benefit, as well as left a voice message stating the above and met as I entered the restaurant to be sure I "understood".  Oh, well, it was just great to be with her, watch her laugh and joke and smile and remember that this particular night was a gazillion times better sitting with my family than that of a year ago.  This year we sat in a restaurant and not filled with fear in a hospital!  There's a lot to be said for just that. 

I even gave up a "dinner date" with a MAN to be able to go with my family to dinner.  Funny, we ended up at the exact place I was supposed to be with this fella!  Oh, well, no big sacrifice.  When I made the "date" it had not occurred to me that it was the same day that I would "need", and I do mean need, to be with my daughter!  I do hope he understood and perhaps we can try it another time.  If not, he isn't worth it to me, anyway! : )

xoxo

 

 
April's first "Anniversary"
01.13.07 (6:42 am)   [edit]

one year ago today the saga began!  i wasn't thinking about that yesterday when i woke up feeling "flu-y" or when i had turned off my phone cuz i just didn't want it to wake me and i didn't want to talk to anyone...and sleeping most of the day...then, this morning it hit me!  why, momma had a terrible case of the blues!  hadn't done that for a while!  i thought i would be singing and dancing!  i guess deep down i just feel sad because my girl is broken and she is having such a difficult time.  i know she goes at it full steam ahead...but seeing her struggle day to day is really so hard on this momma's heart.  

so i will get through this day at work and then go spend a bit with her!

hopefully, next year on this day, i will have lots more happy to deliver as news!

xoxoxo

 

 
You won't ever believe what happened to me today!!!!!
01.09.07 (9:32 pm)   [edit]

You'll NEVER guess what happened to me today!  My phone in my office rings...of course, I answer it...Good Afternoon, Air Program, this is "Mimi", how may I help you?   The voice on the other end of the phone says, and I kid you not!, "Mimi, this is Jessica with Magic 107.7 and you are the winner in our drawing for tickets (now I figure, with my luck, it's tickets to see Nemo on Ice or the Circus that is coming to town, but : ) WRONG!!!!)  You, Mimi, are the winner in our drawing for tickets to see ROD STEWART!!!!!!  are you believing this!!! Go, Magic!!!!!

: ( now the sad part...darling daughter, who I immediately call to invite! says "damn it"..."broken".... "no" : (

so, I call a girlfriend to see if she can get off work .... she will try and get back with me....

OMG!  Rod Stewart!!!

I can't wait!

xoxox

 
I want to live my next life backwards!
01.09.07 (7:46 pm)   [edit]
* You start out dead and get that out of the way.

* Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

* Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

* Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

* Then when you start work

* You get a gold watch on your first day.

* You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

* You get ready for High School, drink alcohol, party, and
you're generally promiscuous.

*Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and    you have
no responsibilities.

*Then you become a baby, and then..

*You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

*You finish off as an orgasm.


 
To celebrate or mourn? Not a question for me! : )
01.07.07 (8:35 am)   [edit]

I think that modern technology and God are amazing.  April had her cranial surgery on a Wednesday morning and then was home by Friday afternoon! 

The surgery left her tired and weak and a little more "wobbly" for a few days, but it wasn't long until the wheelchairs and walkers were put away again! 

Last Saturday, I got up early, did my yardwork (in Florida, we never get much of a break), took a shower and trotted over to spend some time with my girl.  When I got there, she was in her garden, weeding!  She promptly put my hiney to work, too.  We giggled and weeded and listened to music and giggled some more. 

It amazes me that she has such strong determination and is not allowing this as an excuse to get lazy or give up!  Her inner fortitude moves me beyond words.  I don't know that I could do it. 

April is a beautiful young woman...now her right arm and leg and speech are not working the way they used to...yet she continues to smile and remains somewhat confident, altho she gave away many of her "beautiful" clothes.  That disturbs me, yet I know that as she gets better, her confidence will return anew and she can just replace them.  The worry is what is going on in her heart and head, for me, anyway....outer appearances are one thing...inside is completely different. 

I guess the most difficult aspect to this is that she can not verbalize how she is feeling inside.  She draws her hand in front of her as if she has two sides...which, I imagine, is exactly what she feels...and her eyes show pain as she does this, which tells me she is frightened that she won't ever be "herself" again.  I thank God daily for her beloved Dave, as I imagine he does his all to reassure her in the way only your husband can.  He does so well with her in all other aspects of their life, I have faith that he is doing the same about this, too.

Anyway, after we finished, April went and showered so we could go out to get some dinner.  I helped her with her hair.  The incision is healed and the staples came out about 2 weeks after the surgery.  They did not have to shave her head except for the small area that was involved and the rest of her hair covers it nicely...I know that not having her hair all gone makes her feel better.  Imagine the shock of waking up to a bald head...that could throw anyone for a loop!

So, now, we are coming up on the first anniversary of this major tragedy...this milestone!  I think we should have a big "birthday party" sort of event!  I think cake and flowers are in order!  My other family members think we should "quietly" pass through the day, as in mourning.  I think there is a lot to celebrate!  April is still with us...she is broken, but not destroyed! 

April shows me daily that I am needed and loved, which I admit, has refocused my life in a good way....I am not so self-absorbed and I have even managed to wean off and discontinue all the medications I have been on for the last 10 years!  Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications are no longer a part of my world!  tadaaaaa! 

I hope this does not make me a selfish person, but I knew from the beginning that a big part of my problem was, as a natural born caregiver, when I lost Sam I had no one to "take care of" anymore and that is why I got involved in a relationship that was completely unhealthy for me because I needed someone to take care of!  I also realize that April needs a lot, but not to the point that I need to be with her every moment.  She is self-reliant and self-sufficient to a point, yet she calls and says "I miss you" (be still my beating heart) and I feel happy to know that I am loved. 

I know that when I go over there, I can prepare a meal that will be appreciated and enjoyed (something else I had given up that I truly enjoy) or that I can lend a hand in whatever project or chore that needs to be done and my time and my ability is needed and appreciated.  Funny, us natural born care givers, we just want to be loved and appreciated. 

So, January 13th, at least in my heart is a big day to celebrate!  I will, somehow, in my own way, let April know how I feel and bring her cake and flowers and hugs and kisses! 

 

 

 
01.07.07 (8:04 am)   [edit]

The past seems as if it never were, and that is the Truth of the past. It never was. It seemed real once, but you know it doesn’t now. Now it is all a made-up story with characters dancing across a screen. You have sentiment over the imagined past, but it is no more than yesterday’s newspaper. It was a melodrama played out as if it were really happening. All the while the scenes were electrical impulses along the airwaves, creating 3-D pictures.

Life is a strong stream that forges ahead. What splashed on the banks has long evaporated. Life is vibrant and alive, and there is no end to it. Your loved ones who have left Earth life are no less now than they ever were, You just don’t have the 3-D screen of them flashing any longer. Present on Earth or absent, it is all the same. None of this panorama is true, although you see it as a matter of life and death, and you deal with it as if it mattered more than anything.

It is all flotsam and jetsam flowing down the river. The flowing of the river is true. The river is eternal. You are eternal, but the past is evanescent. Although important to you, the past is nothing at all. It is a parade passing. Clap for it while it passes before you, and then let the parade go around the corner.

That which is temporary is not permanent. Breezes blow, and then where are they?

There is nothing for you to be attached to, for there is nothing that you can hold on to. Only in your imagination can you.

This seems terrible to you, not to be able to hold on, but, now, think rather of the non-existence of relative life as freeing, beloveds. Non-existence is your passport to Paradise. Now you are free to simply love without encumbrance. You are water flowing past water. There is nothing to differentiate. There is only love to pour out in bucketsful.

If you want something permanent before you, then it is for you to love, for love is the only permanence in the whole wide world. And even love is to be let go of, for it must dance as it dances, so you simply twirl love and let it keep going on its own momentum. There is plenty more where that came from.

Clean out the cupboards of your mind and your heart. Empty them of the past that never was. Hold on to existence and not non-existence. Love is existence. Drawn figures and dosey-do are only sketches. A drawing is not the reality. But love is the reality, and nothing else is. Objects of love are objects of love, but only love is the reality.

The lathes that turn and reflect reality are your heart and mind. The mind holds on to tricks. The heart spins Truth. Sometimes the mind catches up to Truth and leaves illusion behind.

No matter how much you try to hold on to illusion, it is futile. Will-o-the-wisps are simply will-o-the-wisps. Give your heart and soul to that which matters, and matter does not matter. Love does.

Do not give up love for the material. Do not give up anything. Have it all, but also know what slips through your fingers and say so long to it. You are saying so long to foam on the water. It was only fluff. Keep saying hello to love, for it is by your love that you are known. It is by love that you are.

 

 
01.05.07 (10:08 am)   [edit]
Top Ten Ways to Live Authentically 1. Know your purpose Are you wandering through life with little direction—hoping that you’ll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement, and you'll have your own unique compass that will lead you to your true north every time. 2. Know your values What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2004—check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn’t align with any of your top five values, you may want to reconsider it or revise it. 3. Know your needs Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? List your top four needs and get them met! 4. Know your passions Honor those things that make your heart sing. Whatever it is, do more of it. 5. Live from the inside out Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. 6. Honor your strengths What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three—if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. 7. Take time to play Give yourself time to recharge doing things you love to do or by just doing nothing. 8. Be aware of your self-talk Are you blocking your potential? Check out your first thoughts when you wake tomorrow. Are they supportive, encouraging or positive? Choose the kind of chatter that goes on in your mind. Become aware of the negative messages you give yourself. Gently catch them, and turn them into positive affirmations. 9. Surround yourself with inspiration Keep a success journal. Write down your four or five greatest strengths and post them where you can see them. On the last Friday of each month, write down all your accomplishments, both big and small. 10. Serve others When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others—your spirit—your essence. ................ Ann Ronan, Ph.D., Certified Career Coach, works with professionals in career transition. She offers a FREE e-course on the Top Ten Ways To Live Authentically. To learn more about this step-by-step program and to sign up for FREE how-to articles and FREE teleclasses, visit www.authenticlifeinstitute.com
 
The Secret
01.04.07 (6:47 pm)   [edit]
The Secret is truly the most outstanding book to date that we have published. I am so pleased that Rhonda Byrne was able to bring together this life-changing information so masterfully. She first did it for the movie of the same name that she produced, which has been a phenomenon in its own right. She then added, in only ones month's time, incredible additional content to the transcript of the film that brings even more clarity to the reader. This is absolutely a book that people from all walks of life can read and then "get" the concept of The Secret. It allows them to then take it and apply it to their lives. Children, teenagers and adults of all ages are reporting miraculous stories of positive changes as a result. Rhonda Byrne is dedicated to maintaining the integrity of The Secret and to making sure that now, finally, the whole world knows about The Secret. You will want to share this with your friends and family and they will be grateful for it. This book gives hope for what many have been waiting for-- a shift in the way the world thinks. Its a very exciting time that we are living in, and I as well as everyone at Beyond Words and Atria Books are grateful to be a part of it.

--Cynthia Black, President, Beyond Words Publishing

 
Thought for Today
01.03.07 (2:54 pm)   [edit]
‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying, ‘I will not forgive.’ Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note — torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” — Henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman (1813-1887).
 
My Letter to God
01.02.07 (8:21 pm)   [edit]

Hi, God, it's me, Mimi

I am writing to let you know that even though Sam is my one true love and even though I miss him with every ounce of my being, that I wish you would send me someone here on earth to love and care for.  Sam taught me so much.  One of the most important things that he taught me was that I have love to offer, love to give...my heart is overflowing with love and I am so lonley and so tired of having no one to share this abundance in my heart.  So, dear God, if you are listening, please send me someone. 

Thanks, God, for taking time to listen.

Mimi

 
Tagged by Appletree
01.02.07 (7:00 pm)   [edit]

I have been tagged by apple!  so, let's see...hmmm...5 things you don't already know about me...

5. I lived in 4 different foster homes in my youth.

4. I have 5 kids but never had a baby.

3. I can ride horses AND motorcycles!

2. I really am blond.

1. I love to wear boots and jeans more than dresses and heels!